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Dalai Lama
The Muse knelt in front of the toilet, pale and trembling. "I'm dying."

I sat on the tub's edge behind her, lightly stroking her back. "You're not dying. You're just sick."

"Nuh-uh, this time it's for real," she said. "Ebola or something."

"No, honey. If it was ebola, you'd be bleeding from your eyes."

She leaned forward over the toilet bowl. "If I puke anymore, I will be."

"Don't move," I said, and gathered her hair up in my hands and tied it back. "Friends don't let friends barf in their hair."

"So sweet," she said, and then suddenly and without warning vomited into the toilet. Nothing much came up this time. It had been a long ten minutes before that, and there wasn't much left in her belly to rise up. Soon, the heaves stopped and she wiped her mouth with the wash cloth I had handed her earlier. "I'm going to be coughing up an unborn twin before too long."

"If anybody else's teeth or hair come out of your mouth, you're on your own."

She groaned. "God, stop. You're gonna kill me."

"Then I'll meet you again in the next life, and you can kill me in return."

"I'm going to puke on you in the next life. Drown you in a sea of vomit." She gagged. "God, I'm grossing myself out."

I knelt beside her and touched her hand. "Do I get any bonus points for keeping your hair out of it?"

"My undying love," she said. "Now get out of my way." She let go again, and retched long and hard. At the end, she coughed twice and looked into the bowl. "Hey, look at that: ambergris."

"Very funny," I said, and flushed the toilet for her. "Even for someone bleeding from the eyes."

Comments

_linwe_ wrote:
Jan. 9th, 2006 03:52 am (UTC)
Dying is fun, I just recently got over my month of death.
king_cool_paul wrote:
Jan. 9th, 2006 04:30 am (UTC)
I've had about three. I one-up you!
shannonsays wrote:
Jan. 9th, 2006 04:47 am (UTC)
you don't really want to play this game, do you?

how long is the muse's hair, anyway?
king_cool_paul wrote:
Jan. 9th, 2006 04:51 am (UTC)
Well, gee, I don't know how long her hair is right now... I haven't seen it yet. I'll be sure to let you know :P

And no, we shouldn't play this game. Shannon will win, hands down.
_linwe_ wrote:
Jan. 9th, 2006 02:03 pm (UTC)
Does it always have to be a competition? Gah.

:) Glad you're back to life though.
king_cool_paul wrote:
Jan. 9th, 2006 06:39 pm (UTC)
Me, too. Undeath in vastly overrated.

Glad you're still breathing, too. Keep that up.
_linwe_ wrote:
Jan. 9th, 2006 09:30 pm (UTC)
I'm not sure I like the breathing bit. Maybe I'll get hit by a mack truck tomorrow afternoon.

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If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want yourself to be happy, practice compassion.

- The Dalai Lama

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