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Lessons

  • Jan. 4th, 2005 at 3:22 AM
Bill Hicks
"You know, Muse," I said, hitting the delete key and removing two entire pages of text from my journal, "sometimes you don't really do a very stellar job of inspiring me."

"Hmmmm," she said, not looking up from her video game playing.

"Case in point: the past half hour I spent writing about our dinner tonight at the Vietnamese place. I likened my inability to eat noodle soup with chopsticks to cataract-stricken chimpanzees trying to pick nits off of one another in the dark."

"Ummmm."

"I referred to you dumping an entire plate of shrimp on me as using me for your own personal chum bucket, and then turned around and made a terrible pun on the word "chum" to try to force feed some humor into the whole thing for the hundreds and thousands of people who read me."

"Ooyabba."

"And then I went so far as to make a Casablanca-themed comment, about how 'the Germans wore black, you wore red, and I wore the shrimp noodle soup.' Definitely not funny, and yet you never said a word about the entire two pages of crap."

"Shit," she muttered as she lost a life in the game she was playing. She looked back over her shoulder at me. "So it took you two whole pages to realize that it was crap and should be abandoned, hmm?"

"Indeed."

"Hmm." She turned her eyes back to her game. "And how long did it take you to realize that the last crappy thing you wrote was, in fact, complete and utter shit?"

"God! An entire chapter, Muse! Twenty pages, easy!"

"Wow, and only two pages this time," she said, killing some mutant on the television. "Guess that must mean you're getting to be a better writer or something. Funny, that."

Pause for a beat.

"I hate it, Muse, when you're trying to prove a point."

"I know, I'm a bitch when I'm right. Now write another two pages and see if it's better than the last. I'm going to kill some more of these fuckers while you're at it."

Comments

pethead07 wrote:
Jan. 4th, 2005 12:37 pm (UTC)
With this entry, you eeked a good-sized chuckle out of me........ I love yr goddamn LJ.
king_cool_paul wrote:
Jan. 4th, 2005 02:03 pm (UTC)
Well, you know, I do it for the people, man, for the people.

Maybe I should start charging...

Seriously, feel free to keep the ego stroking coming. It does wonders for a crazy brain.
pethead07 wrote:
Jan. 4th, 2005 02:45 pm (UTC)
Well, keep the genius writing coming, and I'll keep up the compliments, Tex........
king_cool_paul wrote:
Jan. 4th, 2005 03:54 pm (UTC)
Man... what did I do to deserve the very small handful of friends that I have that are cool enough to talk me up?
pethead07 wrote:
Jan. 4th, 2005 04:01 pm (UTC)
Hahah..... I could just as easily ask the same thing...... what few pals I do have are peachy keen-- far cooler than I deserve. That includes you, buddy.
king_cool_paul wrote:
Jan. 4th, 2005 04:03 pm (UTC)
You're only going to guarantee that I'm going to keep doing it, you know?
pethead07 wrote:
Jan. 4th, 2005 04:29 pm (UTC)
I know.

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If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want yourself to be happy, practice compassion.

- The Dalai Lama

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