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Don't Say I Have No Culture

  • Mar. 3rd, 2005 at 3:16 AM
Bill Hicks
Like musicals with bite? Like wearing the skin of your victims? Like poodles? Then this is for you: Silence! The Silence of the Lambs Musical. Go here now, download to your heart's content:


And now... some lyrics!



Put The Fucking Lotion In The Basket
Jon and Al Kaplan
Performed by Buffalo Bill and Catherine


Buffalo Bill

It rubs the lotion on its skin
It does this when it's told
It rubs the lotion on its skin
Or else it gets the hose.

And when it's done there's one more thing
A simple little task, it's:
Put the fucking lotion in the basket.

Put the fucking lotion in the basket
All these stupid women are the same
Helps me not to think of them as human, so
I call them "it" instead of by their names.

Catherine

Mister please no more abuse
Can't you see there's no excuse
My family's prob'ly wonderin' where I've been. 

Bill

I'll stave you so your skin gets loose
Stop crying now you big fat moose
Just put the fucking lotion on your skin
And then
Put the fucking lotion in the basket

Your chances for survival are remote
I'm impervious to all your silly whining
So pipe down before I jam a moth
Right down your fucking throat.

Catherine

Mister please, my mom's got money
Let me go--this isn't funny
Cops are sure to send somebody
Turn me loose--don't be a dummy!

Bill

Listen to you scream and wail
Keep it down you fucking whale
Mind the broken fingernail
The last girl climbed halfway but failed.

Catherine screaming

Bill imitation screaming

Bill
(spoken)

Precious?

Catherine

(spoken)

She's down here, you piece of shit!

Bill

Put the fucking poodle in the basket
I'd kill you but there's someone at the door
Don't make me go and get my gun and shoot you
It's a waste of skin
They don't sell fat girls in a fucking store.

Put my fucking Precious in the basket
Don't you hurt my one and only friend
You don't know what pain is but I'll teach you if
You lay a fucking finger on my poodle's pretty head.

Put the fucking poodle in the basket!!

Comments

faldrick wrote:
Mar. 3rd, 2005 01:30 pm (UTC)
Well Now...
That totally rocks


"It puts the lotion on it's skin or else it gets the hose again"
king_cool_paul wrote:
Mar. 3rd, 2005 05:22 pm (UTC)
Re: Well Now...
You *must* download the music... the lyrics are hilarious, but set to music? Dude. Rocks.

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