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The Philosopher's Ass

  • May. 11th, 2005 at 4:02 AM
Bill Hicks
"I'd be David Duchovny," the Muse said, watching the television.

"Excuse me?" I said. "Did you say that you'd do David Duchovny?"

She shook her head. "No, I said that I'd be him. Well, I'd do him too, but that wasn't what I was talking about. I'd like to be him. Actually, not even him. I'd like to be Fox Mulder."

I put the back of my hand against her forehead. "Honey, are you sick? You've been watching too many X-Files reruns?"

She batted at my hand, and I jerked it back. "No, I haven't, although this is the fourth one I've seen tonight. Bite me, he's fascinating. Mulder, I mean, not Duchovny. Well, maybe he is too, but I wouldn't know. Mulder, now... he's pretty fucking spiffy."

"Scully not good enough for you?" I asked.

"Not really. She was more interesting towards the end of the show, but really, come on. Mulder was the reason to watch it. Anyway, I'm already a woman. I think it would be fun to be a man for a change."

"Let's don't start this discussion again. I'm not funding your trip to Sweden for those operations you want so badly."

"Oh, knock it off," she said. "I just think he's fascinating as a character: obsessed, tortured, witty, smart. And he has a hot ass."

"What's not to love? Besides, he sounds like every guy you've ever dated. Hell, most of them strike me as the sort to be abducted by aliens, too."

"You're jealous of his ass, aren't you?"

I shook my head. "Not I, dear Muse. I have a delightful ass. It looks like Calvin's, from Calvin and Hobbes."

"I find that rather disturbing," she said.

"And strangely intriguing..."

"Nope," she said, shaking her head. "Just disturbing."

Comments

giggleloop wrote:
May. 11th, 2005 02:10 pm (UTC)
lmao

but i gotta agree with the Muse on this one. Fox...! *swoon* He's a fox. *rimshot-ba-dum-CHING!* :)

don't mind me, i think the heat has fried my brain.

i can't tell you how many times i fantasized about being Scully, so I could get a piece of that action. :) course, i wouldn't mind a piece of her action either. omg. wtf am i on about at 9am? someone stop me. gotta go to work now. er. bye. :P

-B
king_cool_paul wrote:
May. 11th, 2005 04:16 pm (UTC)
You're a pig. It's part of your charm.

Besides, Scully was hot. Sort of scary, too, but only because she could take me in a fight. Of course, who couldn't?
giggleloop wrote:
May. 11th, 2005 05:08 pm (UTC)
oh man, i could TOTALLY take you in a fight. :) what with all those martial arts skills i have and whatnot. i mean, who here is the only one who knows illegal ninja moves from the government?! :P

man, have you ever seen those pics of Gillian Anderson from FHM magazine??? aye-chihuahua! hot stuff. lol those used to be my wallpaper, on my oooollllddddd computer. :) don't think my family found that strange, do you? ;)

-B
king_cool_paul wrote:
May. 11th, 2005 05:10 pm (UTC)
I was right. Total pig.

Of course, I have a half-naked Liz Phair on mine, so I shouldn't talk ;)
giggleloop wrote:
May. 11th, 2005 07:05 pm (UTC)
yeah, i don't have any half naked chicks on my wallpaper at present. just a picture of Illyria from Angel. Meow... :) Gotta love those blue-haired goddess types. :)

-B
serenityn0w wrote:
May. 12th, 2005 04:28 am (UTC)
I went through a Duchovny phase...didn't last long. Most of my phases don't...the one I'm in right now is mildly disturbing...mostly for me. But yeah...rambling...Duchovny does have a hot ass.
king_cool_paul wrote:
May. 12th, 2005 07:01 am (UTC)
Glad you brought it all back to Duchovny's ass after a while. Becky appreciates it ;)

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