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I've Got Cherokee In Me, So There

  • Nov. 5th, 2006 at 11:16 PM
Sinning Eye
I stumbled across this out in the Great Interweb and thought I'd post it, since it's rather... well, it's George Carlin, so that ought to tell you all you need to know.

Hopefully nebulous_blue won't punch me or anything for it.

Politically Correct Language: "Indian" vs. "Native American"

By George Carlin

Now, the Indians. I call them Indians because that's what they are. They're Indians. There's nothing wrong with the word Indian. First of all, it's important to know that the word Indian does not derive from Columbus mistakenly believing he had reached "India." India was not even called by that name in 1492; it was known as Hindustan. More likely, the word Indian comes from Columbus' description of the people he found here. He was an Italian, and did not speak or write very good Spanish, so in his written accounts he called the Indians, "Una gente in Dios." A people in God. In God. In Dios. Indians. It's a perfectly noble and respectable word.

So let's look at this pussified, trendy phrase, Native Americans. First of all, they're not natives. They came over the Bering land bridge from Asia, so they're not natives. There are no natives anywhere in the world. Everyone is from somewhere else. All people are refugees, immigrants, or aliens. If there were natives anywhere, they would be people who still live in the Great Rift valley in Africa where the human species arose. Everyone else is just visiting.

As far as calling them "Americans" is concerned, do I even have to point out what an insult this is?!! We steal their hemisphere, kill twenty or so million of them, destroy five hundred separate cultures, herd the survivors onto the worst land we can find, and now we want to name them after ourselves? It's appalling. Haven't we done enough damage? Do we have to further degrade them by tagging them with the repulsive name of their conquerors?

And as far as these classroom liberals who insist on saying "Native American" are concerned, here's something they should be told: It's not up to you to name the people and tell them what they ought to be called. If you'd leave the classroom once in a while, you'd find that most Indians are insulted by the term Native American. The American Indian Movement will tell you that if you ask them.

The phrase "Native American" was invented by the U.S. government Department of the Interior in 1970. It is an inventory term used to keep track of people. It includes Hawaiians, Eskimos, Samoans, Micronesians, Polynesians, and Aleuts. Anyone who uses the phrase Native American is assisting the U.S. government in its effort to obliterate people's true identities.

Do you want to know what the Indians would like to be called? Their real names: Adirondack, Delaware, Massachuset, Narranganset, Potomac, Illinois, Miami, Alabama, Ottawa, Waco, Wichita, Mohave, Shasta, Yuma, Erie, Huron, Susquehanna, Natchez, Mobile, Yakima, Wallawalla, Muskogee, Spokan, Iowa, Missouri, Omaha, Kansa, Biloxi, Dakota, Hatteras, Klamath, Caddo, Tillamook, Washoe, Cayuga, Oneida, Onondaga, Seneca, Laguna, Santa Ana, Winnebago, Pecos, Cheyenne, Menominee, Yankton, Apalachee, Chinook, Catawba, Santa Clara, Taos, Arapaho, Blackfoot, Blackfeet, Chippewa, Cree, Mohawk, Tuscarora, Cherokee, Seminole, Choctaw, Chickasaw, Comanche, Shoshone, Two Kettle, Sans Arc, Chiricahua, Kiowa, Mescalero, Navajo, Nez Perce, Potawatomi, Shawnee, Pawnee, Chickahominy, Flathead, Santee, Assiniboin, Oglala, Miniconjou, Osage, Crow, Brule, Hunkpapa, Pima, Zuni, Hopi, Paiute, Creek, Kickapoo, Ojibwa, Shinnicock.

You know, you'd think it would be a fairly simple thing to come over to this continent, commit genocide, eliminate the forests, dam up the rivers, build our malls and massage parlors, sell our blenders and whoopee cushions, poison ourselves with chemicals, and let it go at that. But no. We have to compound the insult. Native Americans! I'm glad the Indians have gambling casinos now. It makes me happy that dimwitted white people are losing their rent money to the Indians. Maybe the Indians will get lucky and win their country back. Probably they wouldn't want it. Look what we did to it.


audeo wrote:
Nov. 6th, 2006 04:22 am (UTC)
Thaaaat's riiiight. Give us another quarter. And I plan on retiring early, so Max Bet and let 'er rip! ;)
king_cool_paul wrote:
Nov. 6th, 2006 05:45 am (UTC)

Again I say, nerd.
nebulous_blue wrote:
Nov. 6th, 2006 05:26 am (UTC)
Actually, he's got it right. We would prefer to be called by our tribal affiliation, but when you aren't sure of it, we prefer the term "indian". Fuck Columbus. It's his fault we were coined with it.

I won't punch you. It's a pretty good point.

And tell me Happy Birthday, you tool. Or have you forgotten so quickly?
king_cool_paul wrote:
Nov. 6th, 2006 05:46 am (UTC)
Of course it's your birthday, you nerd. This is why I am watching Last of the Mohicans, because Wes Studi is so hot.

I don't actually know what this has to do with your birthday, but you can't argue his hotness with me.

nebulous_blue wrote:
Nov. 6th, 2006 05:56 am (UTC)
I will argue the hotness of Wes Studi.
Because it's not actually him that's hot, it's his brain. Braaaaaaaaaains. He's a brilliant orator. You should hear him speak on indian issues. Screw that. He could read a cereal box and make me happy.

You know who is a total hottie in the realm of indian actors? Steve Reevis. And I don't say that just because I know the guy. He was in Fargo, man. He gets sexy points for that alone. Not to mention he's a nice guy. And hotter in person. Oh, and Adam Beach is kind of a hottie as well. Oh, and there's my first crush ever - Michael Greyeyes.

Boys are nothin' but trouble though.

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