1. Baby put in crib and parents leave room.
2. Baby cries.
3. Parents think about what rotten parents they are for leaving baby to cry.
4. After five minutes, check on baby.
5. Leave baby alone again, baby starts crying.
6. Parents feels rotten and want to die.
7. After ten minutes, check on baby.
8. Leave baby alone again, baby starts crying.
9. Parents want to shoot selves, and give baby up to loving godparent.
10. Before fifteen minute mark is up, baby cries herself to sleep.
Tomorrow night, the process shall be repeated. This promises to be a horrible experience all the way around.