"You're just as irritatingly militant about your carnivorous tendencies as they are about their vegetables," I said.
"Oh, bull poopie. If they want to shove carrots up their asses, I don't care one way or the other. I don't give people that look when they order a garden burger."
"You know. This one." She turned down the corners of her lips, furrowed her brow and managed to look repulsed, irritated and wallowing in her own moral superiority, all at the same time.
"That's a good trick," I said. "You should do that next time we're eating out, make that face at anybody near you ordering a salad. That'll teach 'em."
"I can't help myself," she said. "Sometimes I just want to beat people to death."
"And then eat them."
She nodded enthusiastically. "Oh my, yes. Every one of them. Especially the babies. They're so succulent in a nice asparagus sauce."
"At least I know that when the future finally gets here, you're going to have no problem with the Soylent Green issue."
"Oh honey," she said. "I've already got shares in the company."