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The Muse Devours

  • May. 10th, 2007 at 2:46 AM
Damiel Wings of Desire
"I don't know about you," the Muse said, "but I for one have had just about enough of vegetarians giving me shit about what I eat. Whose business is it if I want to have a nice bloody burger now and again?"

"You're just as irritatingly militant about your carnivorous tendencies as they are about their vegetables," I said.

"Oh, bull poopie. If they want to shove carrots up their asses, I don't care one way or the other. I don't give people that look when they order a garden burger."

"Which look?"

"You know. This one." She turned down the corners of her lips, furrowed her brow and managed to look repulsed, irritated and wallowing in her own moral superiority, all at the same time.

"That's a good trick," I said. "You should do that next time we're eating out, make that face at anybody near you ordering a salad. That'll teach 'em."

"I can't help myself," she said. "Sometimes I just want to beat people to death."

"And then eat them."

She nodded enthusiastically. "Oh my, yes. Every one of them. Especially the babies. They're so succulent in a nice asparagus sauce."

"At least I know that when the future finally gets here, you're going to have no problem with the Soylent Green issue."

"Oh honey," she said. "I've already got shares in the company."

Comments

giggleloop wrote:
May. 10th, 2007 10:48 am (UTC)
Welcome back, Muse! :D
king_cool_paul wrote:
May. 10th, 2007 04:40 pm (UTC)
Couldn't keep her away forever, you know.

She's unstoppable.
epi_lj wrote:
May. 10th, 2007 02:02 pm (UTC)
:)

Of course, in my experience the majority of veggie burgers are eaten by omnivores, not vegetarians.
king_cool_paul wrote:
May. 10th, 2007 04:41 pm (UTC)
I don't have any veggie burger problems, and I get them myself sometimes, but seriously: meat. Meat is good. Meat is excellent.

Meat.

Mmm.
serenityn0w wrote:
May. 10th, 2007 03:05 pm (UTC)
She returns! HOORAY!!

Happy birthday to me:-) What a wonderful present.
king_cool_paul wrote:
May. 10th, 2007 04:41 pm (UTC)
You see? I remembered your birthday and everything!

Now just *which* time zone are you in right now, anyway?
(no subject) - (Anonymous) - May. 10th, 2007 07:00 pm (UTC)
king_cool_paul wrote:
May. 11th, 2007 04:18 am (UTC)
I'm doing it right... now...

Bwah hah hah!

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