April 2nd, 2005

Bill Hicks

Biddy-Biddy-Boobie

"Gak," the Muse said.

I looked up from my laptop. "What?"

She pointed at the television. "Is it just me or does Gil Gerard show an unhealthy amount of chest hair in his Buck Rogers costume?"

"It's futuristic. In the 23rd century, everyone will have a thicket of chest hair."

"Oh, goody," she said. "There's nothing more sexy on a woman than having Cousin It's nipples."

"You're mixing your TV metaphors, honey."

"Sorry. Don't mind me, go back to your typing. I'm just going to sit over here in a ball and rock myself. Hairy Gerard has blown my mind for the night."

"You're a lightweight, Muse," I said.

"True. But at least my tits aren't covered in fur."

"Lovely. Such a lady."

"You love me," she said.

"As long as you keep shaving your chest, I certainly do. At the first sign of stubble, though, you're out the door."

"Shallow fucker."

"I'm a man. Deal."
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