June 27th, 2007

Statler and Waldorf

How Does This Man Still Have a Job?

Highlights from the live interview tonight between Larry King and Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr:


Larry King: So, Ringo, you're still living in California?
Ringo: Actually, I live in Monte Carlo.

L.K.: So, Paul, how did you deal with John's passing?
Paul: Oh, it was tough, it was tough.
L.K.: We'll be right back after this break.

L.K. (to Ringo): Now, George...
Ringo: I'm not George.

Ringo: Paul's the most melodic bass player in the world.
L.K.: What's that mean?
Ringo: It means he's the most melodic.


Um.

Yeah.
Terry Gilliam

The Muse Is Hot

The Muse lay sprawled on the hardwood floor of the living room, wearing nothing but bra and panties, a light sheen of sweat coating her pale skin.

"Fucking hell," she said. "It's too goddamn hot. I can barely breathe in here."

"Not my fault there's a lack of air conditioning," I said.

"Oh, it is. You could go out and buy one."

"I'm poor," I said. "In the summer, the poor sweat. You want air, you have to go find yourself a nice rich sugar daddy."

"I would, but he might insist that I put out before I get the air, and it's too hot for putting out. It's almost too hot for breathing, actually. My lungs hurt. It's like being in a kiln in here."

"You're a wuss. It's only 80 degrees in here. That's not even triple digits."

With a sound like a fruit roll-up being pulled from the plastic backing, the Muse unstuck herself from the floor and rolled onto her stomach. "Just because I haven't yet burst into flame on your floor doesn't mean it's not too hot."

"You say that as if you think I enjoy this heat. I'm not happy unless it's in the low 50s, and I can see my breath."

"Well, that's because you're a freak."

"Glad you noticed," I said.

"But it's still too fucking hot."
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