Pablo (king_cool_paul) wrote,

Over-Prepared Muse

"I'm going to pick up some snacks for the trip," the Muse said.

I propped the phone under my chin and began tying my shoes. "Muse. Sweetie. We're not leaving for a week and a half."

"I have a free day today, so I wanted to get a jump on things."

"You're unemployed. You always have a free day."

She grunted. "I am not unemployed. I'm a freelancer between assignments."

"You've been between assignments for a month now." I stood and headed for the bathroom, the cordless phone in my hand again.

"Have not," she said. "I just don't feel the need to tell you about all of my work. I did a bit of modeling last week, I'll have you know."

I grabbed a brush and ran it through my hair. "Nude, of course."

"Well, yes."

"Have you noticed, Muse, that you haven't been telling me about the nude modeling jobs anymore? You used to toss them at me like rice at a wedding. Should I be reading something into this?"

"Hardly," she said. "I just don't feel the need to tell you when I'm flashing my tits around quite so much anymore. Now do you want chips or jerky for the road?"

"Sure, just change the subject."

"Musely prerogative. Chips or jerky."

"Better get both. It's a long drive. And sunflower seeds. The flavored ones, not just plain."

"Freak," she said.

"And you're not smoking those cloves of yours in my car, so you know."

"No worries. I stopped smoking."

"Muse! You stopped smoking and you don't want to tell me about your tits? Now I am worried about you. Maybe you need this vacation even more than I do."

She sighed. "You have no idea, honey."

"Tell me about it?"

She paused. "Maybe later. Now though, I must be off to the supermarket, so we are not forced to devour one another like some dinner theater version of the Donner party."

"I dunno. I think you would taste fairly yummy, especially with a good marinade and a little lemon."

"You would taste like something that has just edged over its expiration date, and was sour, hard and just a little furry."

"I'm flattered," I said.

"And you only wish that I would eat you alive in a car."

"I'm a pig."

"Yes, you are," she said. "Enough! I'm off! I'll drop this stuff by your place later tonight, and don't eat any of it beforehand."

"Yes, mother."

"And call me that again and I'll smother you with a pillow."

"Yes, mother."

"Dumbass," she said, and hung up on me, not unkindly.

Tags: muse
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